We are made up of not just body and mind, but feelings, and core Self (or soul, from a spiritual perspective). These aspects of us are not separate.

Our thoughts and feelings affect our physical functioning, sensations, and immune systems, which affect our thoughts and feelings, which inform our behavior and relationships, and everything in between. Our unique spirits, whether you believe in transpersonal forces or not, is also an important part of who we are and deserves to be known and engaged.

ACT or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy promotes “psychological flexibility” or the ability to navigate thoughts and feelings from an observer mentality, exercising choice in which thoughts to delve into and direct behavior, and which to simply observe and name. Clarifying personal values and mindfulness practice lays the foundation for this way of being. Psychological flexibility also allows for feeling emotions without being overwhelmed by them. With practice we can feel even intense emotions while acting from a place of calm, behaving in a way that aligns with intentions rather than one of emotional hijack and reactivity.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

"Our thoughts are not the problem. Our thoughts do not create the psychological smog. It is the way we respond to our thoughts that creates the smog."
— Russ Harris, The Reality Slap

ACT is a mindfulness and body-based approach to changing how we relate to our thoughts and emotions—and helping us live from our values.

When we feel anger, we might yell or lash out.
When we feel sadness or anxiety, we might ignore our feelings, avoid others, numb out with by self-medicating with any number of things (TV, shopping, sex, substances, exercise, workaholism), or even overcompensate by saying yes to things we don’t want to do.

But suppression and avoidance rarely work long term. They drain our energy and often intensify the very emotions we are trying to silence.

ACT teaches us to:

• Return to the present moment when feelings and thoughts takes us out of it

• Be flexible withthoughts and feelings rather than impulsively reacting to them in ways we regret

• Use the skill of Defusion to lean in to thoughts that are values-based but let go of self-defeating ones

• Use the skill of Expansion to make room in the body and heart for painful feelings, so we aren’t consumed by “negative” emotions but don’t spend our energy avoiding them

• Be mindful of thoughts, feelings, physical sensation, rather than judgmental of ourselves

We may choose to act on thoughts and emotions when they align with our core values and support our short and long-term goals. But the key is choice.